F.U.C.K.E.D.

So my boss decided to only give me 2 fucking days this week! 2 DAYS!!! Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!? I just bought this car and I already can't pay for it cause she's been cutting my hours. I don't understand why she runs her business the way she does. I spent the evening yesterday talking with my former manager...learned ALL about Stacey and her two-facededness (I make up words sometimes). Needless to say, I've already put in an app and I'm going in the morning to talk with a manager at a different Subway. I stopped by one today just to see if they wre hiring and she said that she's in the process of reviewing apps. Then said if I really want the job the best time to come is in the mornings before 9am. I told her I'd see her tomorrow at about 8am. Hope it works...they have a drive threw and I'd get to wear one of those head sets. lol

Gotta love the weather

This is one of the many reasons why I HATE living in Portland. Yesterday was B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. Today....CRAP!!! Not only is rainy weather just not fun but I have ecsema and it reaks havack (sp wrong?) on my skin. It's bad enough I work in food service and I'm washing my hands 8000 times a day but with weather like this it just sucks. I really wanna move back to Cali but the bf doesn't want to. Maybe we could come to a compremise and move to a city other than Bakersfield (I used to live out there and we [Me and the bf] visited my cousin last year so he's seen it). But I wouldn't want to go without someone else, like my cousin and her family moving back or if (by some freak act of nature) my bff and her family would want to move to Cali. I know I technically woulnd't be by myself since the bf would be with me but what if (by another freak act of nature) he and I didn't work out....my kinds and I would need a place to go to adjust, ya know what I mean?

I miss the sunny California weather.

Thoughts For Today

Today started out good but then took a drastic turn for the worst. I don't quite no why but I got irritated over the dumbest thing....cause I was at someone elses house and I got mad cause all of a sudden she had a house full and I couldn't hear the tv. And also cause she always wants me to come over and tells me how I never visit anymore and when I do she's off doing whatever. Am I wrong for that one....am I crazy? lol I just me and I am who and how I am.


Had a talk with the bf today....apparently he was absent the last time but we had the SAME conversation that we have had it before....I think less than 6 months ago. With him....he asks things 800,000 times and I think to myself...does he really listen to me? I'm sure he does but why do you have to ask me the same thing over and over and over and over and so on and so forth? For example....he just asked me (about a hour ago) what my schedule was tomorrow for work...if I had it I'd bet money he will ask me one more time tonight...maybe 2.


Sometimes I think I ask too much of people. For the most part I think people and not that bright...at least the ones I come across in everyday life...how hard is it to tell me what kind of bread you want when I ask, 'What kind of bread can I get for you?'. I kinda need a base for the veggies and meat and toasting, don'tcha think? Then again I think...maybe its me?

IDK

I think I just need somewhere other than in my head to express myself. I always loose journals..I figure it's a lot more difficult to loose a pc. haha My goal for this blog is to write everyday, given I remember I have it (my memory is sometimes not so good), and maybe catch a follower or 2. My life is nothing fancy but I can assure that it is real. Thanks for listening........






In a nutshell....I'm 29, have 2 boys (ages 6 and 5), I have a part time job a Subway (Eat Fresh), and I have a boyfriend. Me and my boys live with my mom right now cause I lost my job last year and the boyfriend (bf) wasn't working and we lost our apt. My mom only has a one bedroom and me and the boys have the room. ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!

I need to move and I probably do make enough to pay rent for a one bedroom of our own but not while I have a car note. The bf is 'posed to be looking for work and, of course, would help with rent but idk if I wanna live with him...or be with him for that matter. I'll get to him later..for now...I know that I haven't always made the best choices in life and I understand that some of those have put more obstacles in my way but this is what I'm dealing with the last 10 months before I turn.....dare I say it....30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!